In an attempt to raise some money to pay my new rent bills I’ve been selling everything I own on eBay. Turns out it’s a lot harder than I was expecting.
Firstly people don’t want to pay you. They say they do. They will enthusiastically press the place bid button but when it comes down to it they don’t actually want to buy my skanky t-shirt.
I’m guilty of it too. I get over excited and place bids on things that I would never usually buy. I always go through with it though. You can’t commit to buy if you’re not actually going to. It just leaves people like me at home crying because they thought they were going to get £3 and now they’re not.
This morning I going caught up in my first proper eBay war. I sold a dress to one person but someone else was really angry about it. I’ll call them donuthead1 and pinkbabe21. Donuthead1 paid for my lovely dress and pinkbabe21 was not happy about it. She proceeded to tell me that all donuthead1 was going to do was resell my dress for three times the price. It’s like they’re bitter rivals. I suspect they may well be.
But that’s not my problem. I just want my money and now I have it. Of course it would be nice to sell everything to someone who is going to make my pink dress their all time pride and joy but when it comes down to it it’s taking up space and I’ve got agents fees to pay. I’m going to offload my stuff onto the highest bidder. That’s the point isn’t it?
My final eBay moan is about people who were just too late. I feel a bit sorry for these ones. You’re watching something and planning on swooping in at the last minute to outbid by 1p but then the phone rings, it’s dinnertime, the dog throws up. Something happens and before you know it it’s all over and someone else has the French edition of Never Mind The Bollocks. What you should do is accept that it just wasn’t meant to be and that maybe next time it will be your lucky day.
What people actually do is send messages ranging from ‘Ah I’m so gutted I missed it if the sale falls through please let me know’ to ‘I’m willing to pay more than that couldn’t you tell them you’ve changed your mind and sell it to me?’ Cheeky bitch, no I can’t. You can’t do that in Topshop! If some bitch buys the last size 5 hidden platform patent Mary Janes you have to accept it. You can’t sneak up to the salesgirl and tell her you’ll give her an extra £5. I think that only works with cars and houses.
Honestly, it’s a scary place, similar to a car boot sale at 5.45am. Once my current 37 items have ended I’m getting out of the game. Going straight and getting a real job like taking my clothes off for money. It’ll be much less stressful.