So blogging from holiday didn’t go exactly to plan. It was very hot and I was too busy swimming about or sleeping to get round to it. Also the Internet was really expensive and I just don’t have the commitment.
I’m not going to do all of the gossip here as everyone will get the stories in real life but here’s a summary:
We ate at Burger King, we got drunk off cheap vodka, someone was very sweaty, someone was grumpy, something happened that will forever change my thoughts about doing the laundry, I shouted for one of the first times in my life and someone* turned out to be one of the most actually insane people I have ever met.
*Clue- The lovely Miss MG
It’s actually alright in Magaluf. There are times I got a bit worried, like when I saw three lads trying to steal a girl’s bikini on the beach. They all thought it was really fun but I thought it was more like assault and felt very uncomfortable about it all. She didn’t seem to mind though so I can only assume she was one of those sluts. There are some quite nice bars though, or at least they would be nice if they hadn’t decided to pop a bucking bronco in the middle and allow fat girls to ride it until their boobs fall out.
Actually it’s not half as bad as people made out. I think it tries to make itself sound a bit dirtier and more exciting. Truth is it’s quite easy to stop people from trying to have sex with you. A really good tip is telling them to FUCK OFF (better shouted) or walking/running away. Another thing that worked for me and a mystery blonde (I don’t know why I’m not naming anyone) was to constantly talk about boyfriends- her real one and my reluctant fake one.
Conclusion: if your girlfriend/boyfriend cheats on you in Magaluf and says it’s because they couldn’t help themselves they’re lying. Actually that applies to wherever they are. Some people are just gross.