Magaluf. Full of weirdos.

The drunks are missing from this picture

 

So blogging from holiday didn’t go exactly to plan. It was very hot and I was too busy swimming about or sleeping to get round to it. Also the Internet was really expensive and I just don’t have the commitment.

I’m not going to do all of the gossip here as everyone will get the stories in real life but here’s a summary:

We ate at Burger King, we got drunk off cheap vodka, someone was very sweaty, someone was grumpy, something happened that will forever change my thoughts about doing the laundry, I shouted for one of the first times in my life and someone* turned out to be one of the most actually insane people I have ever met.

*Clue- The lovely Miss MG

Oh dear

 

It’s actually alright in Magaluf. There are times I got a bit worried, like when I saw three lads trying to steal a girl’s bikini on the beach. They all thought it was really fun but I thought it was more like assault and felt very uncomfortable about it all. She didn’t seem to mind though so I can only assume she was one of those sluts. There are some quite nice bars though, or at least they would be nice if they hadn’t decided to pop a bucking bronco in the middle and allow fat girls to ride it until their boobs fall out.

Actually it’s not half as bad as people made out. I think it tries to make itself sound a bit dirtier and more exciting. Truth is it’s quite easy to stop people from trying to have sex with you. A really good tip is telling them to FUCK OFF (better shouted) or walking/running away. Another thing that worked for me and a mystery blonde (I don’t know why I’m not naming anyone) was to constantly talk about boyfriends- her real one and my reluctant fake one.

Conclusion: if your girlfriend/boyfriend cheats on you in Magaluf and says it’s because they couldn’t help themselves they’re lying. Actually that applies to wherever they are. Some people are just gross.

But not everyone is gross. Some people are just sexy

 

 

 

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