Review: My Sister

After 15 long years I can reveal that my sister will soon be turning 16. This means that she’s now ready to face the harsh facts and read an honest review of her performance.

She looks just like this.

In the early years my sister, AKA Baby J was resented by many (me) for destroying my only child status. After 5 years as number one I was knocked off the top spot and replaced by a much smaller, cuter version of myself.
Baby J spent around 5 years on the underground scene, doing nothing much at all, waddling around and eating soap powder. It was at 6 she really started to have an impact with classic lines like ‘This doesn’t work’ and ‘Where’s my jeans?’

For the next few years baby J grew into a gobby little lady with a fondness for glittery dresses, horses and being a vet. There were a quiet few years but around the age of 13 she stormed the scene, turning from an awkward little thing into quite a pretty girl with lovely long hair. It was this that really changed my opinion of her.
Whilst I admire her lovely hair she does take an awfully long time to dry it, and needs 3 hours advance warning before being ready to leave the house. I also have to knock points off for being a lot taller than I am. It’s not that it’s a bad thing it’s just that this is my review and I feel jealous.

It must also be noted that her commitment to her studies is somewhat lacking and she seems much happier eating McDonalds and wearing lipstick than doing her very important schoolwork.

Also she pierced her own lip, which totally freaks me out.

Taking all of this into consideration I would like to give my sister a rating of 4.5/5. Hopefully by the time she hits 16 she will have made changes to make me like her more.


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