Free Brad Pitt

I well hate Angelina Jolie*

Look at her with her big mouth and her weird tattoos. She used to wear people’s blood and snog her own family. Does Brad Pitt even know about that? Someone should email him just in case.  I think he deserves to know all the facts before he comits to anymore children.

If I snogged anyone in my family or had a little blood necklace I’d never have any friends. I’ve never done anything that weird and I don’t have many anyway so I don’t know how she’s getting away with it.

I feel so strongly about it that I’ve even researched some more weird stuff about her. Right:

She has pet snakes. There was a boy at my school who had a snake. I was about 4 at the time but in my head that boy (who’s actual name I forgot at 5) will be forever known as ‘weirdo snake boy’.

SHE COLLECTS KNIVES. I don’t think that’s very safe with all of those children.

She ‘Has a fondness for Liverpool Football Club because her son Maddox “only wants to play for Liverpool”.’

I heard that when she married Jonny Lee Miller she wrote his name on the back of her shirt IN HER OWN BLOOD.

We can’t let her continue to get away with this. If anyone else feels as strongly as I do about what I’m going to call ‘Free Brad Pitt’ please send me money so I can go to America and tell him the truth.

*I feel a bit guilty, I don’t even hate her, I just really really love him- sorry angie!

Especially like this.

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