Reading festival is a bit shit

So the Reading and Leeds line-up is out. It’s pretty shit. I say pretty shit, I mean it’s one of the worst things I have ever seen in my life, just looking at it has made my eyes feel dirty and I sort of want to pull them out of my head. (if you haven’t seen it I suggest trusted sources like the internet, a magazine or possibly a newspaper.) Some highlights include Panic! at the disco (so the ! is back??) Bring Me The Horizon, The pigeon detectives* and Oasis without the good one.

I don’t really like Reading anyway. I know there’s this other part called Leeds but I’ve never been there so I can’t slag it off as much. I’ve got no idea why I put myself through it three times.

It’s just that being there fills me with a weird fear. There are a lot of unpredictable cool kids around, who might want to set fire to my tent or punch me in the face. At 21 I sort of feel too old to be there. Actually I’m starting to feel too old to be most places, when did everyone get so young!? It’s the sort of place where being able to buy your own warm cider is frowned upon.

There’s also the thing with the wellys. Girls will understand the thing with the wellys. My wellys are not hunter. I also don’t own any denim hot pants. I just don’t fit in. I don’t find power ranger fancy dress funny and people hitting drums with sticks do not amuse me.

The only one who can really pull it off

BUT I am being pretty unfair; the best thing about Reading is that you can easily get out of there. Year two we missed most of the headliners because we were either at the 24-hour garage buying vodka, or eating chips and curry sauce by the river. My all time Reading highlight was going to WHSmiths to buy Buffy the Vampire Slayer magazine, issue one. I also LOVED the part where my lovely friend faked being ill and asleep just so I’d go and buy donuts. £1 each! That’d never happen in Wolverhampton.

MY ALL TIME TOP READING TIPS

1. Don’t spend loads of money on beer and food before you go because there’s a Tesco nearby and carrying stuff is a pain in the arse.
2. Don’t lose your tent before you get there.
3. Don’t buy a coach ticket if the coach leaves from another country. Going to Wales to go back to Reading adds about 26 hours to the journey.

Oh, I only have those three. They’re important ones though.

Thinking about it, I’d probably go if someone gave me a free ticket and some pepper spray. The Strokes are there and I like them quite a lot.

*I didn’t know they were still going, the singer man said he liked my scarf once. I may have swooned.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Reading festival is a bit shit

  1. Wahoo can’t wait for the P!ATD tour!

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