Guide to not being a fail: Part 1


I’m going to get started with the Emlar Guide to not being a fail.

Here’s part one…


So on Wednesday night I was watching Waterloo Road and I felt a flood of jealousy looking at Sambuca’s fringe. It was so blonde and full. After a quick look in the mirror I decided it was time for a hair cut.

I’ve been cutting my own hair since I was about 5. The first time was a disaster. I had a full blunt fringe (I was a mini style icon) and decided to cut it off. All of it. From the root. Until I was 6 ½ I had a sort of flick. You know, the kind 13-year-old boys had. Not that I let that stop me. My life has since been a series of terrible self inflicted haircuts.

So back to Wednesday, fueled by a can of Stella I got out my scissors, and attacked my fringe. What was once a grown out side sweep is now a jagged mess on my forehead. It doesn’t match up anywhere, it just sort of ends and it sticks out on the top of my head. I’ve tried spraying it down but 7 years of bleach and abuse mean it just looks like wet straw. I’m too scared to go an actual hairdresser and too ashamed to leave the house. The worst part is I did the exact same thing about 5 months ago. I never learn.


So the first two points in the guide to not failing:

Don’t drink Stella.

Don’t try cutting you hair to look like someone with a name like Sambuca. Even if she is just a character in a TV show.



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